Guys, have you ever caught your wife just looking at you? Quietly staring, with seemingly zero emotion and not saying anything? I caught my wife doing that the other day. I was puzzled, curious and a little bit terrified. What was she thinking about?

There we were, the 3 of us, standing in the middle of the church’s outdoor badminton court. I was about 15 years old. My friends J and D, both my age, were talking. A minute later they were disagreeing. I can’t remember what the issue was, but I bet it was something important and close to heart. Both of them were sure the other was wrong. Both were keen on proving it. Accusations flew; arguments were attempted only to be destroyed seconds later. Neither side conceded anything.

In their desperation they turned to me. The whites of their eyeballs betrayed a sharkish intensity. Yet in that moment, I also detected a puppy-dog yearning for affirmation. My friends J and D sought my support.

I said, “I disagree with you about this, J.”

D leaped triumphantly and proceeded to jeer at the now dumbfounded J.

Cutting D’s victory parade short, I snapped: “That doesn’t mean you’re right. I think you’re wrong too, D.”

Doubly stupefied, both D and J could not believe what had just occurred. How could they both be wrong? Doesn’t condemning the first worldview automatically result in the approval of the second worldview? If you’re an enemy to my enemy, aren’t you my friend? The answer, of course, is: Not always.

What happened next? D and J temporarily abandoned their disagreement. United in the presence of a common foe, they laughed at and mocked my brazen declaration. They were mistaken, though, I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful. I was trying to be truthful.

“Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon.”
- Rorschach, in Watchmen

“Then the prophecies of the old songs have turned out to be true, after a fashion!” said Bilbo.

“Of course!” said Gandalf. “And why should not they prove true? Surely you don’t disbelieve the prophecies, because you had a hand in bringing them about yourself? You don’t really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your sole benefit? You are a very fine person, Mr Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all!”

“Thank goodness!” said Bilbo laughing, and handed him the tobacco-jar.

- Chapter XIX, The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

Maurice Sendak, b. 1928
[Study of Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf], 1967
for “The Hobbit”
Pen and ink on paper

The standout lesson I learned in 2008: The ideal life is not one of independence, but interdependence. To say it another way, the pursuit of self-sufficiency is a farce. It is doomed to failure and misery. And I’m not just saying this because I’m on the cusp of holy matrimony. It rings true for both single and married lifestyles. Contrary to popular opinion, the best life is not a life where you no longer have needs. The best life occurs when you realize that needs cease to matter as we share everything we have, because we are of one heart and one mind (Acts 4:32). The more I read the Bible, the more I’m convinced that God made us to live in a constant state of “exchange” with other people. Besides the Bible, two books that have helped shape this perspective are The Irresistible Revolution (Shane Claiborne) and Crazy Love (Francis Chan).

I don’t want my readers to skim through this idea and say: “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Consequently I have devised a little questionnaire. How you respond to the following will determine if you truly believe in the beauty of interdependence.

1. A person who gives is more noble than a person who receives.

• agree
• disagree

2. What’s your first reaction to this sentence: A Christian is supposed to ______.

• give.
• be holy.
• be humble.
• receive.

3. After the initial shock of receiving a gift from someone, do you:

• wonder if he/she wants something in return.
• try to remember if you had once performed a good deed for him/her.
• immediately in your heart resolve to repay him/her.
• feel a deep sense of gratefulness and thankfulness.

4. When in a bind, who do you call on first?

• family members
• church family
• try to figure it our yourself
• the internet
• a company that provides the service

6. Do you sometimes find that when you want to serve/ assist/ give to someone else, there seems to be no one around for you to serve?

• yes
• no

7. Which is more true? When you receive something…

• your regard for the other person increases
• your regard for God increase

When you truly understand that all good things come from God’s loving hand, the hesitation of giving fades away. That much is clearly seen. But dig just a little deeper, and we’ll realize that the hesitation to receive fades away as well. The guilt and the urge to “repay” disintegrates. What’s left is a peaceful thankfulness and a truly grateful heart.

Now that I’ve got you to check out my post (via controversial headline), you should know this: I like ALL the following Christian albums. They are on my playlist continually, and they are timelessly enjoyable. So let me tell you what I did to determine the most “unloving” Christian musician of all time. In order to pinpoint the main themes found in each album, I pasted song lyrics into a nifty application called Wordle. In Wordle, the more a word is repeated, the more it is enlarged. I used the results to determine the main themes of each album. Only lyrics of original songs were pasted in.

This list is only lyric-based, and does not take into account melodies, tones, or even how attractive an artist is. The list should not be a measuring stick for an artist’s godliness, compassion or skill with an instrument. 6 albums were measured: Switchfoot, David Crowder Band, Charlie Hall, Brooke Fraser, Shawn McDonald, and Phil Wickham.

Artist: David Crowder Band
Album: Remedy
Comments: David Crowder should be glad my ratings aren’t based on appearances. I haven’t seen this dude in person, but witnesses have told me that “though he’s real cool… he’s real creepy-looking.” I didn’t expect DCB to emerge so high on the “love” scale. David Crowder is better known for writing extraordinary lyrics, word-puns and singing them at near light-speed.

David Crowder Love Scale: 8/10

Artist: Phil Wickham
Album: Singalong
Comments: Phil Wickham gives out so much free stuff online (music, chords, YouTube videos and live performances) that it’s hard not to like him. He’s got great heart, catchy tunes and awesome voice. Clearly one of my new favorites.

Phil Wickham Love Scale: 10/10

Artist: Charlie Hall
Album: On the Road to Beautiful
Comments: If you’ve been to any Passion conference you’ll understand why Charlie has a lot of “heart.” He’s energetic and infectious and uses a lot of kinetic verbs like “dance” and “swim.”

Charlie Hall Love Scale: 6/10

Artist: Shawn McDonald
Album: Simply Nothing
Comments: This CD is so good I’ve built quite a few memories around it. I’m surprised so few people know about him. He’s got a testimony that will pull many heart-strings. God basically turned him away from a life of drugs; this probably resulted in the enlarged notion of “need.” However, I give him extra points for writing this timeless line: “What are you, man, if you do not learn love.” Genius.

Shawn McDonald Love Scale: 7.5/10

Artist: Brooke Fraser
Album: Albertine
Comments: Brooke is the only female on this list, and also the artist with the largest vocabulary. She reads a lot of C.S. Lewis, travels overseas a lot, and writes songs from uncommon books of the Bible such as Hosea.

Brook Fraser Love Scale: 4/10

.

Artist: Switchfoot/Jon Foreman
Album: The Beautiful Letdown
Comments: This is probably going to make some people angry. Hey, I like Switchfoot too, but the closest they got to “love” is the word “like.” The word we’re looking for doesn’t even show up! However, you could make the point that they’re subtle and relevant.

Switchfoot Love Scale: 0/10