t h e g r a b b l e . c o m

The standout lesson I learned in 2008: The ideal life is not one of independence, but interdependence. To say it another way, the pursuit of self-sufficiency is a farce. It is doomed to failure and misery. And I’m not just saying this because I’m on the cusp of holy matrimony. It rings true for both single and married lifestyles. Contrary to popular opinion, the best life is not a life where you no longer have needs. The best life occurs when you realize that needs cease to matter as we share everything we have, because we are of one heart and one mind (Acts 4:32). The more I read the Bible, the more I’m convinced that God made us to live in a constant state of “exchange” with other people. Besides the Bible, two books that have helped shape this perspective are The Irresistible Revolution (Shane Claiborne) and Crazy Love (Francis Chan).

I don’t want my readers to skim through this idea and say: “Yeah, sure, whatever.” Consequently I have devised a little questionnaire. How you respond to the following will determine if you truly believe in the beauty of interdependence.

1. A person who gives is more noble than a person who receives.

• agree
• disagree

2. What’s your first reaction to this sentence: A Christian is supposed to ______.

• give.
• be holy.
• be humble.
• receive.

3. After the initial shock of receiving a gift from someone, do you:

• wonder if he/she wants something in return.
• try to remember if you had once performed a good deed for him/her.
• immediately in your heart resolve to repay him/her.
• feel a deep sense of gratefulness and thankfulness.

4. When in a bind, who do you call on first?

• family members
• church family
• try to figure it our yourself
• the internet
• a company that provides the service

6. Do you sometimes find that when you want to serve/ assist/ give to someone else, there seems to be no one around for you to serve?

• yes
• no

7. Which is more true? When you receive something…

• your regard for the other person increases
• your regard for God increase

When you truly understand that all good things come from God’s loving hand, the hesitation of giving fades away. That much is clearly seen. But dig just a little deeper, and we’ll realize that the hesitation to receive fades away as well. The guilt and the urge to “repay” disintegrates. What’s left is a peaceful thankfulness and a truly grateful heart.